Last night, we had the opportunity to meet Stephen's (our country manager) family. I can't exactly say, "We finally got a home-cooked meal," because we have had the fortune of home-cooked meals everyday. However, you know what it's like to go to grandma's (or at least my grandma's)! Think TGI Friday's-sized portions but the food is so fresh that it won't clog your arteries. Each plate consisted of potatoes, chicken, rice, fish, two types of Indian bread, and mixed vegetables, all of which was flavored with yummy Indian spices. For dessert, we had bananas. I am not even kidding when I tell you my stomach began to expand right below my very eyes.
Stephen, his wife, son, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and parents live under one roof (~600 sq ft). Some of you may guffaw at this, but before you do, remember that family is the center of the Indian culture and this is simply the way it works, so people are accepting and make it work. I would guess this is a large part of why there is a low divorce rate.
Incredibly, they live on the first floor because they have tenants on the other floors. The first floor consists of a dining room/living room, two small rooms (Stephen, his wife, and son have one, while his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew share the other), a small kitchen (Indians don't corral around the kitchen like we do in the States so it is designed for functional purposes), and a backyard.
You may ask, "Where do the parents sleep?" Stephen says they happily sleep in the hallway. And they are happy people. His mother is gorgeous with large, gold earrings, a decorative gold nose ring, a bright yellow sari, long, dark hair, and a smile as wide as the room. His father is in his final months of teaching the trumpet at a school so far away that he must stay overnight for the one night per week he teaches. (He departs Saturdays and returns Sundays.) He is also a loving, sweet man, but I could tell that grandma (his wife) runs the house. She was not shy to chuckle and tell us that she wishes she would always have her Saturdays and Sundays free, but her husband is retiring so she will deal with it.
Each day that I am in India, I begin to understand my Hungarian roots more and more, which I certainly never expected. Although I have visited Hungary and researched my family genealogy while there, I did not "live" there like I am now here in India, and it was a much shorter visit. India has some similar and some different cultural aspects than Hungary, but I see in every day life here many of the things that which my parents grew up with in Hungary. (My mom lived in a one room apartment with her two brothers and parents. Dad lived off the farm after the Russians took his father to prison for not supporting communism.) Funny enough, my parents had great difficulty adapting to the US's freedoms even though this was the original reason they escaped. And raising American children in a non-accepting small town in FL when they were "fresh off the boat" did not help in their efforts to assimilate. I may not agree with my family's philosophies and sometimes criticisms of my life, but at least I now have context....and I am trying very hard to have compassion.
One of the neatest parts of Stephen's house is the back window that overlooks his backyard. This window is the one his mother spoke through to Sheeba's (Stephen's now wife) sister in order to determine whether she knew any single women to set up Stephen with for an arranged marriage. Her answer was, "How about Sheeba!" They were married about 4 years ago and are doing great.
All in all, I am so appreciative of the graciousness of Stephen, his family, and the Indian community we are helping. I know that each of us is getting so much out of volunteering here and experiencing the culture.
I realize that I have shared little about my work during the day. Given the types of things I am doing right now, it will be better to hear at the week's end what happened. I will share more later. Also, the Global Volunteers blog, which I sent earlier this week, has such details.
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