Volunteering in India

A Tearful Good-Bye

2009-02-13T18:41:00.001-08:00

It is 8 am on Saturday in India, and I just walked downstairs to a near empty house. Linda W. flew to Malaysia to spend time with her host family from her Peace Corps days back in the '60s. Ginny and Ann were on the same flight to Hong Kong, where Ginny will continue on to San Francisco and Ann to Taiwan. Ann's parents will shed many tears of joy over how beautiful and adult-like their 18 year-old daughter looks when she gets off the plane in her bright orange and purple sari! Linda M. is in Mamalapuram for a couple of days of R&R before her flight departs. I am here in peace and quiet....well, except for when Roshan cries. He has a fever today.

Yesterday was our last day with the community of Chennai, and it was a good-bye filled with mixed emotions. Unlike the end of a vacation, I am looking forward to going home. At the same time, I am sad to say good-bye.

I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed by the experience I have had here, so I am not sure what to say. Maybe I will write just one more blog upon my return. :) I will say this - I will never regret this experience. It has challenged me in ways I could not have imagined and taught me so much about the lesson of walking in others' shoes and how amazing it is to experience another culture. (I even started to pick up the language of Tamil and began to think with an Indian accent!) I am inspired to create future travels in such a way that I experience the culture rather than just fly somewhere, take a few photos to say, "I was here," and go home.

Have I changed? I am not sure if one can change in three weeks time. However, I do have a whole new level of awareness about life and a great respect for the people in India and especially, our country manager, Stephen. Global Volunteers warned us about "re-entry shock." In other words, it may be difficult for us to adjust to our old way of life given what we have seen and done here. (So be gentle with me the first couple of weeks, my friends!)

So what did we do on our last day? Read on!

The morning started off with our typical schedule of a team debrief over breakfast and the reading of the team journal. Then we were off on our respective duties.

Linda M. and I finished off our construction project. In three weeks time, the inside and outside walls on the first floor have been plastered, the bathrooms completed, the wall on the second floor completed, and a new sidewalk built so the water will flow into the drainage ditch as opposed to sit around and attract hundreds of flies. This may or may not sound like a lot of work but considering these workers don't use shovels, wheel barrows, or any other seemingly modern equipment, this was a great step forward to giving the orphans at SEAM a better home. We really enjoyed the masons.

Sister Rose treated us to lunch, or shall I say a feast, at Assisi Elam. I think we counted 11 dishes for 6 people. I was thrilled that a few of them were extra spicy. Over the three weeks at Assisi, we took care of 40 kids in this daycare/orphanage, which is run by Doctor Sister Rexline, who we had lunch with yesterday. It was both fun and interesting to figure out how to teach those under the age of 5 how to sit still and how to speak English.

The afternoon was filled with conversational English and my first big good-bye. I visited St. Joseph's for a final session of conversational English. Since Linda M. was in the car on her way to her weekend getaway, it was here I said good-bye to my side kick here in India. I truly wish her the best life!

I took on her five novices as well as my own group. I was more teary-eyed walking into the room of 10 novices than during the good-bye. Our last session was filled with questions. One girl, Pasca, wrote a list of 25 questions that she wanted me to review with her and correct. Interestingly, several of these questions, if said in the US, would be insulting, so I requested she think about some of the comments to make sure they are truly OK to say here in India. For example, one was was, "Don't you know this!?" I explained to the girls that India and the US have different cultures so it might be OK to speak this way here (or maybe not) but in the States, this would be similar to telling the person he/she is stupid. They gasped and giggled!

Some other cultural differences between the US and India to take note of: 1) It is common to be asked questions like, "How much money do you make?", "How old are you?", "What caste are you in?"
2) Men and women do not eat together. The man eats first, then his wife. It is not as bad as one might think. The rationale is that the woman runs the home, which includes cooking. She knows how much her husband eats, so she makes plenty of food. While the husband is eating, he is thinking of how great it is to have such yummy food in front of him, but he wants to be sure his wife eats, so he saves food for her. So it works both ways.

Going to SEAM in the evening was the most joyous and most difficult part of the day. These kids range in age - from about 5 to 16, which meant we were able to built strong bonds. As soon as I walked in, they were "fighting" over who could hold my hands as they walked me to the play area. The boys were quick to help in any way, the first of which was to find a nice chair for me to sit in. Sanjay, the boy I would read to while on break from construction, did a solo dance for the group. Rebeka, who is on break from school, also did a solo dance. A couple of boys competed over who knew the most verses from a particular Tamil book. Another small group did a Bollywood type of dance for us.

Then the tears came. It was time to say good-bye so each child walked over to each of the volunteers to look us in the eye, shake our hand, and wish us well. Here, I realized we each impacted their lives in some way. Specifically, I taught 9 of them how to use a computer and worked with two of them on their reading skills. Linda W. prepared several for an important exam; Linda M. taught a 12 year-old to read, as did Ginny and Ann. Tears came down my face as I hugged each boy I worked with. Of course, they were more worried about me. Imagine that. (OK, now I am crying again.)

On our way out, they begged for more photos. Linda M.'s little guy must have realized the friendship she and I built. Since she was not there, he held my hand and escorted me to the car, asking me to say HI to Linda for him. Then he started to sing to me.

Good-bye, India. I wish your people well, and I appreciate you opening your lives to us all and sharing with us your great souls.

A Special Luncheon

2009-02-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in yesterday's blog, we did have lunch with Doctor Sister Rexline, and what a treat this was! Since she is such a busy women with many things on her plate, she was not able to spend time with us during the entire lunch but did grace us with her presence for a brief chat at the end.

She truly is amazing. In 1975, after completing her medical degree (the first nun in her order to do so), she started what is now known as St. Thomas Hospital. It started as a one-room building and now spans several large buildings including the hospital, nursing school, convent, etc. In her early days, she would ride her bike to the local villages to determine who needed her care, whereas she now lives at the hospital so that she can take care of people's needs in a moment's notice.

Her efforts reach across India. Often through volunteers and other convents (I believe Mother Theresa's locale is also involved in this effort), she and her team assess the needs of small villages throughout India to determine the levels of fundraising needed.

Besides the hospital and fundraising, she is in charge of Assisi Elam, the orphanage/daycare we have been assisting at, homes for the elderly, and other such things. Doctor Sister Rexline told us that she cannot run all of these things as the hospital keeps her too busy so she delegates this work to others. (Her biggest challenge at the hospital is clean water, so she must send men out to get this water.)

I was impressed with her directness and strong opinion on education. She believes that education is the most important "possession" a person can have. Apparently, she knows that Stephen's wife, Sheeba, studied nursing. She reminded Sheeba not to waste that education - she should be a nurse. During lunch, we brought over the first orphan baby to ever come to Assisi - Sophia. While she is adorable, the nuns at Assisi spoil her immensely, and Dr. Sr. Rexline had no qualms about pointing out how this is impacting Sophia's behavior. We had quite a chuckle as she was so right. Sophia won't even talk to us because we make her share our attention with the other kids at Assisi. Luckily, she is a brain child, and we are guessing that Sophia is in training to one day run the hospital.

My biggest chuckle came when Dr. Sr. Rexline's cell phone rang. My immediate thought was, "Wow! So that's what a modern day saint looks like." Don't worry, our cameras were snapping away.

Outside the hospital doors is a sign that states, "Finding out the sex of your baby is illegal." I used to think China was the only country in which boys were the gender of choice at birth, but we found that this is often the case in India as well. As a result, one is not allowed to determine the gender of the baby prior to its birth for fear that women will abort the baby. Stephen mentioned that many wealthy Indian families will fly out of the country to determine the gender, and if they find that the baby is a girl, they will abort it.

We are so thankful to have had the opportunity to meet and interact with Dr. Sr. Rexline. She is an amazing women. I wish her well - she is sick and almost died last year due to several lung infections. Once lunch time was over, we were off to our afternoon duties.

Linda W. and I went to St. Joseph's for our afternoon of conversational English with the novices. Their homework assignment was to share their favorite Bible story, and I enjoyed hearing their passion for such stories. Interestingly, this discussion brought up questions by them of religion in America and my own faith. I was very careful with what I said, acknowledging America's and my faith, but that it is different from both India and what they are doing at St. Joseph's. Luckily, they are young and hungry to learn so I gave them just enough information so they understood that our life is different but at the same time was careful not to horrify or insult them. Phew!

Off to my last day of volunteering....

In Awe...

2009-02-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I visited St. Thomas hospital here in Chennai to fix up my head wound and met the most amazing woman! (Our team is having lunch with her today so I will await that before sharing too many facts for fear of stating them incorrectly.) She is a "Doctor, Sister," as she is both a nun and a doctor (the first female doctor in her order).

At 63 years of age, she runs and lives at the hospital as she takes care of patients 24-7. She was a shorter woman wearing a white habit and had such a presence that I got chills when I first met her. She spoke with great purpose and looked us deep in the eye when she spoke, thought of what to say, or listened to us speak. Even her movements were with purpose. We immediately noticed that she had only 6 papers on her desk - yet she runs the place! In the US, I don't think anyone's desk has only 6 papers on it! Stephen told us that she knew Mother Theresa. I can't wait to get to know her more at lunch today.

In the morning, Linda and I were off to construction. Since I missed construction on Tuesday for fear of infecting my wound, I gave up the opportunity to slap the cement siding on the wall with the masons as they are now done with this task. Nonetheless, we were still greeted with smiles, which I greatly appreciated. Recall that during my first week here, communications were grunts by straight-faced men. Now, we are teaching each other English and Tamil. Yesterday, we had the help of a neighbor who spoke a bit of English. They even started egging me on a bit. For instance, they were working in a very tight space yesterday and needed us to carry stuff to them. The only way to get through was to lift things over my head with my arms straight up. Quickly, they started to chuckle and would only call on me to do this. (How is it that people so quickly are able to pick up that I am the one to be egged on? And here I thought this only happens at home!) Also, the man who never smiled during the first few weeks smiled all day. I am thrilled that we have been able to build such relationships.

Last week, at the construction site (SEAM), there was a small kitten that was about one week old. Each day at SEAM, I would go check on the kitten with the intention of feeding it, time permitting. Sadly, I found out the kitten died. Given that it was without its mother and they probably did not feed it enough, it was likely not to survive. On the flip side, the one-month old kitten that was left behind at St. Joseph's is doing just fine. Her name is Raji. I get a kick out of watching this tiny thing trying to walk down giant steps to greet us after working with the novices each afternoon.

Sheeba taught us to make ginger tea. We insisted on learning as she makes amazing tea and we appreciate it helping any of the random ailments we have been hit with over the weeks. Basically, it requires boiling water into which one puts fresh ginger, tea powder, finely ground black pepper, and sugar. Once this mixture boils together, sift it into a pot, and serve. The key to making good ginger tea is the proportion of ingredients. Sheeba said that in South India, which is where she is from, they eat very spicy foods so their version of ginger tea requires a small handful of black pepper. She, of course, toned it down for us. Yummy!

Last night ended with my last shopping spree. We went to a market in Chennai with a gold store that was the equivalent size of a department store in the States - and it was filled with only gold and many Indian shoppers. There was also a silver shop and silk store. On the streets, people were selling bangles, fruits and veggies, colorful bags, and other knickknacks.

We often think of NYC as "the place to go." However, I love shopping here - the prices are reasonable and the materials, color, and tailoring are so interesting. (I am sure, though, that if I were born here, I would think the reverse.) I will admit that shopping here takes great control - I have learned that I must go with a list and set clear boundaries. Otherwise, I would fly home with 8 suitcases!

Great Expectations

2009-02-10T16:47:00.000-08:00

Prior to coming to India, I worked hard to steer my mind from any expectations that began to creep into my mind, which I did a good job of. However, as the days here have progressed I must have subconsciously set expectations that I would never be able to meet. This expectation was to give love to the people of this community, but with that came an apparent description of what this would look like. I realized all this after coming back from my weekend away as I could not understand why my first day back from volunteering was so frustrating to me.

After a couple of days of being away in peace and quiet and the reality hitting me about my head injury, I was slow going. Luckily, there are four other lovely women here who helped me understand a bit of what was happening. By sharing their own experiences during this trip and lessons from their lives, a light bulb went off for me. I was setting an unrealistic expectation for what this trip was about.

Logically, we are here for three weeks. We are not going to fix the challenges this community faces everyday. Instead, the impact of our specific role is a drop in the bucket, although a very important one. This may seem obvious, but trust me when I say that this is a hard reality to put into practice. I would love for each child to get in a line so that I could provide each one individual attention and when I felt each was in good shape, I could help the next. That's not how volunteering for three weeks works.

Once I realized this, I made a choice to set no expectations for what helping these children looks like. I no longer visualized what "learning the computer" or "speaking better conversational English" needed to be. I simply approached each task of the day with a blank slate. And no matter how simple the task, I gave great praise for each person's win for the day. Thankfully, I had one of the best days yet. More importantly, the children were also smiling.

I also realized that it is one thing to imagine the situation this community faces but a completely different thing to understand it and apply your own knowledge to help them. It took several tries, but I think I have it down now.

Some fun/interesting tidbits from yesterday....
Stephen came to SEAMs with a bag of goodies provided by a volunteer which included chocolate and a pen. The orphans were glowing. Can you imagine that the first instinct of one of the boys I was working with was to give me his chocolate?! That is simply how they are. These children have so few possessions but their first instinct is to share what they have with their guests. Amazing!

Sheeba, Stephen's wife, helped Linda W. and I into our saris, which we wore to St. Joseph's. The novices were thrilled. The Indian community so appreciates when we dress in their attire, which I might add is way more comfortable that much of our Western wear. I am not sure if I will ever know how to put one on myself, but I can try!

Last night, the team had dinner on the rooftop of our guesthouse. The big, round moon rose over the neighbor's rooftop, stars filled the sky, and candlelight lit our table. There was a cool breeze in the air, which was refreshing given that we are approaching a hot Indian summer. What a great way to end our day.

Remember That Scene in Slumdog Millionaire?

2009-02-10T03:36:00.000-08:00

Linda and I had just finished up our overnight trip at Safari West where we had the fortune of seeing elephants, a leopard, a bison, two wild dogs, monkeys, and several spotted deer. One of us - I'm not sure who - had the idea to take a final group photo with our drivers and tour guide, where Linda was going to pose with them first. She handed me her camera and off I went trying to get the perfect angle, and then it happened.....

All I remember is slowly walking backward when suddenly, my left foot landed in watery sludge and immediately thereafter, the back of my head slammed into the edge of a concrete sidewalk that passed over the waterway. Somewhere in between...or after..., my body began to sink. My immediate thought was, "Oh please tell me that I did not just fall into a sewer like in that movie!"

This all happened so fast that no one even realized I was "missing" until I yelled, "Ow!" Quickly, I was grabbed my several men who pulled me out. The spot where I hit my head was in pain, but other than that, I seemed OK. Immediately, I imagined what it might have looked like to watch me fall into this sludge, so I started laughing hysterically. (Maybe this was my way of easing my - and everyone else's - obvious concern.)

I was rushed to the gas station bathroom where Linda filled a bucket with water so that I could rinse off. The sludge was thick enough that this required some rubbing. I was not sure what smelled worse - the water I used to clean myself or the stuff I fell into. Once I was "clean," Linda handed me the only clothes I had that were not soaked.

I thank Linda for being there. My immediate reaction would have been to wash my hair, but once we realized my head was bleeding, she reminded me that this water would increase the possibility of an infection. Thus, she got a huge bottle of water and a first aid kit. Now, the debate was whether to go to the hospital. (Hello! I don't have a job at the moment.) Linda insisted that regardless of the depth of the cut, I should go due to the possibility of infection. This is India, after all. I agreed.

Stephen, our country manager suggested I stay local rather than wait the 2.5 hours it would have taken to drive to the next main city, Mysore. Thank goodness for this because the local hospital was quite small (i.e., two rooms) and Dr. Sally was able to take care of me right away. Six stitches (Linda thought it should have been ten) later, I was off on our drive to Mysore.

Again, Linda was amazing. She held my hand, rubbed my back, and took note of everything Dr. Sally did. Yes, iodine was poured into the wound (the worst part of all of this, by far!), a sterile needle was used to inject Novocaine, and a Neosporin-like substance was put on prior to the bandage. Linda also helped make sure that Dr. Sally left most of my long hair on my head. After all, I just spent 2 years growing it out so that I could donate it to Locks for Love this summer.

The doctor's orders were simple - don't wash hair for 8 days and change bandage every other day. Can you believe this cost me 300 Rupees, or $6 US!?

The thing I feel worst about is Linda's camera. In all the chaos, we did not realize for a while that it was left in the ditch I fell into. Aziz, our driver, graciously stuck his arm down in the sludge and retrieved it. At this point, we have removed the memory card and dried out the camera. The camera won't turn on but at least Linda has traveler's insurance, which should cover the damages. If not, I will figure out Plan B with her. Right now, I am her photographer. We have become fast friends so I am already her sidekick.

So what about this safari we went on? It was so neat! We rode a jeep through the forest, trekked through the bush, rode an elephant in the bush, rode a jeep by the canal at night, and even slept in a tree house! I did not realize that seeing an animal in its natural habitat so different from seeing one in captivity - but it is! Imagine running into an elephant in the bush knowing that at any moment it could chase you.

The most amazing part was seeing the leopard and then driving for only 5 minutes before running into a village. Can you imagine living that close to leopard territory? Had I known this, I might have thought twice about the run I went on earlier that day. I should have known of the potential danger when the guard said, "The animals usually don't come out during the day." However, given all the women wandering through the bush in bright-colored saris, I figured I was OK.

Mysore was amazing and so was the 2.5 hour drive. Given the crowds and pollution of Chennai, we were pleased to breath fresh air, see other wild animals - like monkeys on the side of the road and cows blocking traffic - and take in the acres and acres of lush land and clear water. Mysore itself was adorned with palaces currently being lived in and older ones which have been converted into hospitals and schools. We had dinner overlooking a park before heading out on our overnight train.

So I guess I had my Indian adventure, and now we are back in the swing of things volunteering. Thank you again, Linda!

Life is a Kaleidoscope

2009-02-06T23:59:00.000-08:00

Last summer, I took a creative writing class in Martha's Vineyard. During one of my writing assignments, I came to the epiphany that life is simply one big kaleidoscope. Let's think of how a kaleidoscope works - we turn the knob and each time we look through the lens, we see a different "picture," based on how the beads move about and the light reflects on them. No picture is better than another, each is simply different in its own beautiful way. When I thought about this, I realized that life is similar. There may not always be a better way, it simply depends on which perspective one views each part of life. (Admittedly for me, the reality of this analogy is more difficult than the realization of it.)

While on my construction assignment this morning, I thought a lot about this concept given my struggles over the past week. I began to chuckle at how blinded am to the underpinnings of the way of life here. Although I am trying not to, my perspective/judgment/opinion comes from the culture I grew up in, rather than what simply is. With this, I began to feel more at ease about each small step we are making here in India, as for this community, these are steps for greater good. In the US, we seem to have a different definition for what "better" looks like.

Next, I thought about humanity. I believe it is our innate desire and need to make things better, however, each of our kaleidoscopes for what "better" looks like differs. In the US, we have figured out how to create a waste management system and to build machines and equipment in order to make things bigger, better, and faster. India is slowly getting there. Regardless, both communities are still trying to make things better. For us, it used to be a phone line to connect to the Internet, then DSL, and now cable modems. How many fad diets have we tried? How big will our TV screens get? And what about our houses? How many outfits do our children have? How many activities do they participate in per week? How many places have you traveled to? How many self-improvement books have you read or classes have you taken? It is all part of our basic human desire to make things better...we all just start from a different place.

I must admit that I admire the Indian culture for still sticking with the family unit as the core of their everyday life.

On a final note before I complete my day and head off for the weekend...
Two weeks ago, when I first started construction, I dreamed that as a woman, I may be accepted by the men whose roles were so specific, yet so different than mine. Today, they asked me to put the plaster on the wall! My understanding is that this is not typically the woman's job. I was honored. Sadly, my van arrived so I made sure to ask them to save me some wall space to plaster next week. For their kindness, openness, and acceptance, I am so grateful.

A Fine Line of Trust, Faith, and Letting Go

2009-02-06T16:37:00.000-08:00

I am simply amazed each day at how reading or hearing about a culture, experience, or situation is vastly different than the experience itself. Our group has just completed week 2 of our volunteering and are beginning to have deeper thoughts about the impact we believe to be making on this small Indian community. Last night, I was brought to tears, and even as I write this, I have to hold them back a bit.

My role this week did not involve any construction; instead, I taught. I had the privilege of working with 2-5 year olds on their dexterity and English (i.e., their colors and shapes), teaching nuns and children how to use a computer, and teaching novices conversational English. I cannot express how difficult this has been, but at the same time very rewarding. First of all, each student is so patient - even when they feel frustrated about making a mistake. On the flip side, I noticed that most are afraid to make a mistake and would do anything to please me. As a result, it was difficult to get some to be comfortable with knowing that learning can be fun and mistakes are wonderful because one can learn even more from them.

Many of the people I taught this week had a very limited education and/or significant emotional problems. This meant that each day of teaching was either two steps forward or one (sometimes three) steps back. For example, I worked with an adult for the second time on her computer skills. I could not tell what she comprehended from the first time because the words I said did not seem to translate. I realized this when I tried to teach her about the "Caps Lock" key. I asked, "Is this light on or off (indicating whether the key itself is on or off)?" She looked at me with her doe-like eyes and said, "On or off," and then proceeded to slowly nod her head. This went on three or so times. I finally resorted to writing on a piece of paper that which I wanted her to depict on the computer screen and then did a lot of pointing.

Since Katie left today, my computer teaching to the orphans at SEAMs went from one- or two-on-one to three-on-one. To help keep them engaged and to determine whether they comprehended the activities of the week, I gave them a fun test that Stephen explained to them to make sure they understood the intention of the test. Their goals were to change colors of fonts, select clip art, create graphs, and draw houses with autoshapes coloring them any way they chose. (I am beginning to wonder if the word "choice" exists in the Tamil language because when I told them they could chose any color they wanted, they seemed confused.) Two of the boys flew through most of the test. The boy I worked with one-on-one prior in the week, did not. I knew he was a bit of a perfectionist, but last night, we was simply off. I wondered if he was hurt that he had to share my time with two others. Knowing that they already have to share attention with the 40 kids at the orphanage, I felt terrible. But of course, at the end of our session, he excitedly put away the computer, stood up tall, shook my hand, and proudly walked the computer back to the van. This is how all the orphans are - they have the biggest smiles, politely greet you upon each visit, but at the same time, many have very painful pasts.

When I spoke with Stephen about the difficulty I am having, he reminded me that every bit counts. I realized this is where trust and letting things go come in, which happen to be two of the most difficult things for me to do. Stephen was born here and he has been working with this community for years. As I have come to have great respect for our leader, I must try my best to trust and let go.

Based on these experiences, I begin to see that there is a fine line of right and wrong. First, who is to say what is right or wrong? Is the culture of India right or is the culture of America right? Is neither right? I have had two weeks to be both an observer and participant of the Indian culture - the way families interact, children are taught and disciplined, orphans are taken care of, the role of women. I can honestly say that I cannot answer the question, and yet we all tend to use our own versions of "right" to judge others without walking in their shoes.

One of my volunteering partners began to consider adopting one these children. She then said to me, "How would I really know if my way is better? Although this is different from what I would do, would moving him to experience my way in the States actually make him worse off?" GOOD QUESTION! (She decided it would be selfish to impose her way. She would simply have to find other means to make sure this boy is taken care of in a way that both makes her feel better and helps the boy.)

I Met Elvis Last Night...and Kenny Rogers

2009-02-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

Argh! My alarm did not go off so I have 15 minutes before I have to get ready for yoga. However, I do have a funny little story to share. More to come later...

Last night was a treat! Sadly, Katie (from MN) is leaving us today as she signed up for a two-week volunteer program and will be heading to Goa for two weeks of yoga via a woman she met from London. We are sad to see her go; I am especially sad as she and I have lots in common. Luckily, she is one of those girls who loves "girls' trips" and lives in a place kind of close to where my boyfriend, Jon, visits family.

Since it was her last night, Stephen decided to move up our team send-off dinner so that she could enjoy it as well. We went to the Green Park Hotel in Chennai, which was amazing. Of course, my first thought was, "Check out all the space. I could go for another run!" We drove through the gates and got our security clearance, which includes placing the mirror under the car to make sure we don't have bombs under there, a search through the "trunk" of our van, walking through the metal detector, and a half-assed pat down. (On my way out of the hotel, I noticed that anyone Indian was not being patted down..hmm.)

We enter the monstrous hotel with beautiful white marble, a pond filled with fresh lotus flowers, employees in clean, sharp-looking black suits who greeted us with a slight bow of the head. We walked straight to the back of the lobby and saw the most amazing buffet. Our first reaction was, "Darn it! Had I known this, I would not have eaten for two days." (Our bellies feel extremely full because of all the water we drink, the rice we eat, and a lack of fiber in our meals. Note to self: Bring FiberOne on the next visit to India.) I asked the maitre'd if I could take a video as I would never remember the names of the foods. Hopefully, Jon and I can master some of these recipes.

As we began our meal, Katie pointed out that a band (consisting of a trumpet player and keyboardist) was about to play. Since it was 7:30 (Indians eat way later), we were just about the only ones there to enjoy this as well all the businessmen in the lobby. Initially, the band only played music via their instruments. As I began to peruse the dessert table behind me, I start to hear, "Are you Lonesome Tonight?" in perfect English with a country twang. I look up to smile at the band thinking how nice it is that they are playing American words to songs while playing their instruments. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the keyboardist was singing. Yes, he was singing! And no, he was not one who looks like he is from Tennessee either; instead, he looks like an Indian Pavarotti. Of course, I had to go find out more. I introduced myself and asked the singer where he is from. He is Raymond from Chennai...as in India. I told him he sang beautifully, with a perfect accent and that we appreciated his music. I smiled from ear to ear and resisted a chuckle at how awesome this was!

The rest of the evening consisted of more Elvis, Kenny Rogers, Journey, etc. They must have also had a computer system set up as I noticed them taking floppy discs from a bin just before each music set.

On our way home, which was a 30-minute drive, we counted hundreds of motorcycles and rickshaws. The "money" picture I am trying to get is one that has the most people in or on one. So far, we have counted 5 family members on a single motorcycle (mom, dad, three kids) where the mom's colorful sari is glamorously flying through the dust.

After about 15 minutes, we began to great difficulty breathing due to all the pollution from the vehicles. Just as we turned the corner to our guesthouse, one of the teammates asked the quote of the trip. "Which do you prefer - the smell of sewage or the pollution as we drive?" (One tends to smell only one or the other.) Ginny was the only one with a quick reply - "Sewage!"

I love this place!

All About Family

2009-02-04T16:29:00.000-08:00

Last night, we had the opportunity to meet Stephen's (our country manager) family. I can't exactly say, "We finally got a home-cooked meal," because we have had the fortune of home-cooked meals everyday. However, you know what it's like to go to grandma's (or at least my grandma's)! Think TGI Friday's-sized portions but the food is so fresh that it won't clog your arteries. Each plate consisted of potatoes, chicken, rice, fish, two types of Indian bread, and mixed vegetables, all of which was flavored with yummy Indian spices. For dessert, we had bananas. I am not even kidding when I tell you my stomach began to expand right below my very eyes.

Stephen, his wife, son, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and parents live under one roof (~600 sq ft). Some of you may guffaw at this, but before you do, remember that family is the center of the Indian culture and this is simply the way it works, so people are accepting and make it work. I would guess this is a large part of why there is a low divorce rate.

Incredibly, they live on the first floor because they have tenants on the other floors. The first floor consists of a dining room/living room, two small rooms (Stephen, his wife, and son have one, while his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew share the other), a small kitchen (Indians don't corral around the kitchen like we do in the States so it is designed for functional purposes), and a backyard.

You may ask, "Where do the parents sleep?" Stephen says they happily sleep in the hallway. And they are happy people. His mother is gorgeous with large, gold earrings, a decorative gold nose ring, a bright yellow sari, long, dark hair, and a smile as wide as the room. His father is in his final months of teaching the trumpet at a school so far away that he must stay overnight for the one night per week he teaches. (He departs Saturdays and returns Sundays.) He is also a loving, sweet man, but I could tell that grandma (his wife) runs the house. She was not shy to chuckle and tell us that she wishes she would always have her Saturdays and Sundays free, but her husband is retiring so she will deal with it.

Each day that I am in India, I begin to understand my Hungarian roots more and more, which I certainly never expected. Although I have visited Hungary and researched my family genealogy while there, I did not "live" there like I am now here in India, and it was a much shorter visit. India has some similar and some different cultural aspects than Hungary, but I see in every day life here many of the things that which my parents grew up with in Hungary. (My mom lived in a one room apartment with her two brothers and parents. Dad lived off the farm after the Russians took his father to prison for not supporting communism.) Funny enough, my parents had great difficulty adapting to the US's freedoms even though this was the original reason they escaped. And raising American children in a non-accepting small town in FL when they were "fresh off the boat" did not help in their efforts to assimilate. I may not agree with my family's philosophies and sometimes criticisms of my life, but at least I now have context....and I am trying very hard to have compassion.

One of the neatest parts of Stephen's house is the back window that overlooks his backyard. This window is the one his mother spoke through to Sheeba's (Stephen's now wife) sister in order to determine whether she knew any single women to set up Stephen with for an arranged marriage. Her answer was, "How about Sheeba!" They were married about 4 years ago and are doing great.

All in all, I am so appreciative of the graciousness of Stephen, his family, and the Indian community we are helping. I know that each of us is getting so much out of volunteering here and experiencing the culture.

I realize that I have shared little about my work during the day. Given the types of things I am doing right now, it will be better to hear at the week's end what happened. I will share more later. Also, the Global Volunteers blog, which I sent earlier this week, has such details.

You'll Never Know If You Don't Try

2009-02-03T16:19:00.000-08:00

I awoke this morning is disarray. Instead of my blanket being wrapped around me, I had some strange gauzy stuff all over. Ahhh! Spider web. No wait! Mosquito net. That was interesting. (Each of our beds is covered with a mosquito net, which helps keep away mosquitoes that escape into our rooms.)

As with all my adventures, I enjoy doing them because there is always a life lesson to be learned as a result of the experience. Some of these lessons are life-changing while others may be small confirmations. I would consider my very special experience with Global Volunteers to be both. It has confirmed for me that life is not a destination, but a journey, which is what makes life and the fact that we, in the US, have the luxury of choices so amazing!

My biggest realization/confirmation is that regardless of what I am doing in life, I must be passionate about that which I am doing, whether it be work-related or personal. This allows me to get through the ups and downs with ease and to be more productive, creative, and generous.

Additionally, by working with this team here, I have realized how important it is to set expectations with people and be honest with yourself about what it is you need. Our team is constantly setting expectations and defining (or in some cases re-defining) roles and responsibilities. Thus, if issues come up, we go straight to our agreements and negotiate from there. As a result, no one feels a sense of not being heard or not valued. Surprisingly, we do this so little in life, whether it be in relationships or a job.

Know that I fully realize these "lessons" are not ones which we have not heard or in some cases, experienced ourselves. What is interesting for me, at least, is that I am realizing the value of these lessons as a result of experience rathr than someone telling me "it is so."

The part I am fearful of is, "Can I implement these lessons in daily life once I leave India?" Yes, we live in a country where we have the luxury of choices, but we must face that within every culture and sub-culture there are unspoken rules and expectations - many of which we may disagree with but we still obey. Is this because change is too hard? Or maybe we don't know how to do it.

On a lighter note, after many of us have tried to figure out how in the world to get the 2-5 year olds at Assisi to sit still, Linda and I tried something new yesterday and it worked! We cut out shapes from construction paper and gave them to the kids. We also provided single sheets of construction paper, colored pencils, and a glue stick. They were engaged!!!! We did it! (In the past, we tried flashcards, games, and singing, but they each lasted about 2 minutes.)

So it is true...you'll never know if you don't try.

Week 2 Begins with....

2009-02-02T16:27:00.000-08:00

The second of three work weeks officially started yesterday, which meant trying something new, which is both scary and exiting. Linda and I switched with Ann and Ginny such that we are now working at Assisi, the daycare/orphanage, in the morning, and they are doing construction. In some ways, I like the construction. For one, we clearly see the fruits of our labor, and second, we get exercise. Hatha yoga (a more relaxed style) and walks in the heat are not cutting it - especially given all the food we are eating! (Last night we learned to make Poori, a puffy bread.)

Assisi is quite an interesting place, where 40 kids between ages 2 to 5 spend their day there while mom and dad work (18 are orphaned residents). While the sisters love the children, they have a disciplinary style that I am not quite used to. Sister X's disciplinary method is a ruler, which she seems to like because every time she gets near a wall or post, she taps her ruler. (Luckily, I did not see her using it on any kids!) Sister Y's disciplinary method is a towel, which she tends to use when the kids are watching a movie because there are a few who like to bite, chase, or steal undies! Maybe I am not used to this disciplinary style but it is impressive how obedient the kids are when the sisters are present.

For those parents reading my blog, get this - the kids are pottie trained by the time they are walking! It is the most amazing thing to witness. Imagine a cute little baby wearing shorts walking up to you, pulling on your skirt as if to say, "It is time." This could mean "walk me to the toilet" or "I already went, so please wash me." Washing consists of taking the child's naked bottom and rinsing it with a hose. Then the child hands you its undies so you can put it on, or they put it on themselves. (By the way, another thing India is doing to help the environment - they use cloth diapers.)

I learned a new trick today - the instant face-wiper, where the kids wander around with an attached hankie. This tiny, colorful cloth is pinned to their shirts with a safety pin, which allows you to wipe their runny noses or dirty mouths in an instant.

Trying to teach these kids was its own entertainment. We had a little instigator in our group so every time he did something, the other kids would follow, except for the shy ones who just stood next to us in sheer terror. Remember, these are young kids who don't know English and everyone who speaks to them, except for us, speaks Tamil. As a result, half the battle is their age while the other is the language barrier, so we are quite forgiving (and confused).

For my sanity, I consider each small win a success. George, who I have met once before, finally walked up to me at the end of the day and allowed me to pick him up. The first group of kids we attempted to teach English to finally sat still for more that 20 seconds when we 1) taught them "Duck, Duck, Goose" and 2) let them draw on the chalkboard. I had them tracing their hands and feet, writing numbers on each finger and toe. Their favorite was copying my smiley faces.

A few of us ventured out for a brief walk today. I went to the grocery store to get more detergent. Upon arrival, I was stalked by a clerk. At this point, I am on "people overload" in this crowded city and any part of me that believes in a philosophy of acceptance similar to Buddhists is dissipating! I looked at her and requested she stop following me.

Then there was the checkout process. My detergent cost 8 Rupees, which is the equivalent of 20 US Cents, but it took three people to take care of me. The first girl rings me up and tells me to go to the girl behind me to pay. Girl #2 gives me a stamped receipt and tells me to turn around to give it to the first girl who stamps it again. Then, a guy bags my stuff. I walk out completely confused. Is this system due to boredom, lack of jobs, or something I can't possibly understand? I tell myself, "Yoga breathing. Yoga breathing." (This is my calling to l-e-t i-t g-o!)

On a very positive note, I went to the tailor who measured me for my beautiful sari. So if you know of any Indian weddings coming up, can I be your date?

I neglected to mention that on our weekend getaway, we went to an astrology reading. There is a lovely old man who sits on a blanket in the vicinity of the 7th and 8th century rock carvings with his cards and parrot. We all had an astrology reading, and mine was certainly fitting. Katie had us laughing because she tuned out our readings after the guy told her she was getting married, and she is not even dating anyone.

How does this reading work? First, you need a translator, which we had. Then, you sit down and tell the guy your name. The parrot comes out of its cage and selects cards, one of which is given to the reader. The parrot goes back into his cage and the reading begins. Note: If the reader gives the parrot seeds, that means the parrot is trained to pick certain cards so your reading is rigged. Thankfully, this was not the case for us.

If you are interested in Global Volunteers, check out our team blog. This will help you get another perspective. http://indiateamjournal.blogspot.com/

The Tourist Side

2009-02-01T16:55:00.000-08:00

One of the nice things about Global Volunteers is that we work 40-hour weeks from Monday to Friday, which gives us the opportunity to go away for the weekend. This weekend, we went to Kancheepuram, Pondicherry, and Mamallapuram. We went to each destination by van so I was able to catch up on reading, writing, and sleeping. By the way, in case I have not mentioned, I am reading Holy Cow by Sarah MacDonald. For those of you who have been to India or are coming here, buy it! It is a hysterical depiction of the life and culture of India.

Saturday morning was spent in Kancheepuram where we visited temples carved in the 1700s and shopped for silks. Upon arrival, I was disappointed to see "white people" until I looked at my hands and realized I was one of them. Having been in the community of Chennai on this volunteer assignment, I guess I started to mistake myself as an Indian. Who knows? Anyway, I made myself get over the fact that tourists invade these parts and the locals beg. Why do they beg? Because they know that naive tourists will give in, so here is a lesson: Do not look at or talk to the people trying to sell you anything; otherwise, you will be followed for miles.

Our tour of temples consisted of three temples. The first one was kamakshi where we had the joy of riding an elephant. It is trained to lift its leg, which I climbed, and then you grab onto the rope around its neck, while swinging your leg over. After the bareback ride, I stood in front of the elephant and he put his trunk on my head! The locals give him Rupees (in his trunk) and then he "blesses" them by putting his trunk on their head as they bow.

At ekambranatha temple, we experienced acupuncture (not the kind where you lay down and get pricked). The building is carved (yes, carved) such that there is a walkway surrounding the center temple, which only Hindis can enter. One must first walk this path, typically, five times, and then enter the temple. Why? The stones on this path are purposefully uneven so as to calm you down, through acupuncture, before entering the temple. I will tell you that it got rid of my headache.

At varadarajasamy temple, they were preparing for a special festival so one of the buildings was covered and under construction. However, we did walk around the temple of 100 columns, each of which is carved out of one piece of stone. In some stones, we saw kama sutra poses.

Then onto silk shopping. This was amazing, and I want Barack Obama to pass a bill that we ladies wear saris and that men and women should wear salwar kamis (think comfy pajamas that look good). One thing about Indian people, moreso the women, is that they always look great.

We spent the evening walking the beach in Pondicherry (remember Life of Pi?) One of the best parts about Pondicherry is that there is actually space to run! You better believe I put on my running shoes at 6 AM on Sunday and went for my first run in India. It felt great, and I had the privilege of watching one of the most beautiful sunrises. Clouds lined the horizon so the sun kept peaking through the clouds' openings. Above the clouds were vibrant sun rays. As the sun rose, the rays became more vibrant, as did the sky.

Then onto Auroville. This is a utopia-like community that started in 1968. Currently, it has 2,000 residents, where the aim is 50,000. In the center of the village is a gold golf-ball looking dome, similar to the Epcot "golf ball." People can enter this to meditate. In consists of a center room with marble floors and a light, powered by the sun.

While the concept of this utopia-like village was neat, many of us were creeped out. I started realizing that maybe the best part of life is not being in utopia but instead journeying toward it.

While walking to the globe, we got first-hand experience of the impact of Barack Obama's Presidency. A group of Indian men from Bangalore started intruding in our photos so they could pose with us. I was confused at first. Then they said, "Barack Obama!!! He like India, yes?" This is being said while giving an excited "thumbs up." Another man showed us his cell phone, on which he has Obama's inauguration speech. We all had goose bumps. (Katie told us this is so different from her other travels (she has been on six prior volunteer trips) as most were not pleased with Bush, making travel abroad for Americans difficult at times.)

The last stop was in Mamallapuran were we saw 7th and 8th century rock carvings. Think of a humongous playground with rock carvings. It was unbelievable. Surprisingly, you can touch them and walk on them...and they are in fine shape, except for when idiots in the past have decided to take bats or other tools to ruin some of the carvings.

Ashrams - We saw a few ashrams, which are beautiful and peaceful. For any who are interested in going, know that because meditation is now so popular, some of the ashrams are crowded and/or overrun by tourists and bookshops. I highly recommend doing research and planning out what your expectations are. Meditating is hard enough; imagine adding tourists passing by as you are sitting in peaceful silence. I felt guilty walking through the ashram.

Now back to volunteering.

I Want to Take Them Home with Me!

2009-01-30T07:57:00.001-08:00

Today was our last day of work for our first week, and what a week it was. Each of us has been building our own relationships with the community, each other, and the children. I am beginning to understand why "Brangelina" have decided to create their own United Nations family.

Construction was a little slow today because the trucks did not make it to SEAM with the sand, and as a result, the concrete could not be mixed. As the masons requested our assistance, we helped. In between, however, I helped Sanjay and Anis with their reading. I had noticed them flipping through a book and took that as I sign that they wanted a bit of help. Sanjay does not go to school at the moment and Anis was home with a fever. Here, sick kids don't lie in bed while mommy brings tea, medicine, and a back rub. They just hang out - they're orphans and live in a place were three people have the job of watching after 40 kids. And here I thought my grandmother had it hard with 14!

It is hard not to get attached to those we interact with. For instance, Sanjay was adopted as a baby. His parents ended up having a couple of their own children. After a while, they were not able to take care of Sanjay so they dropped him off at SEAM. Since the school year is almost over, he hangs out, but he will start school when the new school year begins, which is in several months. John and Rabeka are there because their father has heart trouble and cannot work. Luckily for them, he pays visits to SEAM. There are other stories, mostly about alcoholism. We almost don't want to ask too many questions for fear our breaking our hearts further.

At lunch, we discussed the option of "adopting" a child or establishing scholarships. This is definitely a dream of the country manager, but one has to be very careful of how the recipient of such a gift is chosen. Imagine 40 kids at SEAM going to a sub-standard public school and one kid gets to go to a really good school. That would not work. Also, if the kids go to a good school, they need a tutor to ensure they are retaining that which they learn in school. (Remember, they don't have parents.) It will happen - we just need a good plan.

Tutoring the nuns is great fun! Yesterday, we played 20 questions, which took a practice round for them to finally understand. I would get questions like, "Are you happy?" and "Where are you from?" Today, we practiced the past tense. Although they understand what it is, they do not know how to apply it as they tend to speak in the present tense. The challenge is that the mistakes they make are made by most Indians who speak English but are not native English speakers. Unless they speak with a native English speaker and/or read the paper, this will be a continuous challenge for them. It is interesting to witness the difference between knowing how to say the words in a foreign language versus being able to get your point across.

Driving in India is interesting. We asked our country manager, Stephen, how a driver knows where to go as we tend not see any street signs. First, the streets do have names but there are two – one in Hindi and the other in British English. Second, on cannot always find a map of how to get to a destination. As a result, one must drive in the general vicinity of his destination and pull over, asking multiple people where to go. But remember that in India, people don't want to say, "No." So when you pull over, the person you ask directions from will point in a direction. To verify they actually knew what they were talking about, you have to pull over multiple times. If more than one person points in the same direction, you know you are going the right way.

During another conversation, Stephen mentioned that he was in New York City for three days in 2007. While we are fascinated by the cows on the streets and in people’s backyards (as pets!), Stephen is fascinated by the dogs with sweaters! Imagine his reaction to this while, in India, dogs tend to be unwanted homeless animals that walk the streets. In contrast, in the US, we take such good care of them that many get to attend doggie daycare.

Tomorrow, we are off on a weekend getaway. One major mission is to buy silks so the local tailor and make clothes for us. Another is to walk the beach in Pondicherry.

A Bit of Culture and a Newfound Respect for Teachers

2009-01-29T08:52:00.000-08:00

This morning during yoga, I noticed that the honking horns and crows screaming overhead did not bother me. Then why does the kickboxing class next to my yoga class at the gym bother me? And why is it that everyone honks at each other all day, but no one curses at each other nor do they show the middle finger. They just drive along on their motorcycles or in rickshaws and cars with a non-expressive face. Fascinating!

I would like to think that this is part of the way of the culture here. The rules in this country are so clear that people almost don't even have to discuss roles and responsibilities - they are known. For instance, today at SEAM, Linda's and my role was to help the mason. The defined role of the mason was as follows: put mortar on the brick and place the brick in in its proper position. Our roles were 1) to get the sand so our other helper could mix the concrete; and 2) to line up the bricks so the mason did not have to reach far for them. There were no arguments or hurt feelings, just a grunt when they called on us to do our next task and a game of charades to show us what to do. I wonder - If corporate America applied the defining roles and responsibilities strategy more effectively, would we be more happy and peaceful at work? Or maybe we all need to apply the principle of acceptance. Or both.

While the pollution here is terrible (i.e., I wore a mask on our 45-minute drive to a dance because I am starting to taste the pollution in the back of my throat), we have a thing or two to learn about saving water from the Indians. Showering consists of two buckets - a medium and small one. One could use a shower head but the water pressure is not very good. I am able to take a full-body shower with a half bucket of water. I found the best way to avoid the shock of the cold water is to wipe off with a wet washcloth and then douse my body with the water. It is actually quite refreshing. I am guessing that in the States, we average about 30 buckets of water per shower.

You may wonder why Indian women have such great hair. The nuns told me it is coconut oil! They wash their hair once per week, or twice for a special occasion. Then, they apply the coconut oil - I believe they said everyday. Good-bye frizzy hair!

Before I sign off, I must say that today was a hard day of teaching computers at SEAM. I am now tutoring John and Siva. Knowing that this will be the only week they will get one-on-one computer lessons, I wonder how much they will retain because who knows when the next time will be for them to get such an opportunity. I am noticing that their retention levels are not yet what I had hoped.

Each of us here with Global Volunteers are all facing this. Within one of the schools we go to, students from multiple grades are taught in one room by one teacher! It appears that the kids are split up only when there are volunteers here to help out! Thank goodness there is a team of us here. We debrief 3 times a day and share thoughts, learnings, and hardships so that we can both deal with the challenges and apply new teaching methods that we have brainstormed.

This experience has given me a whole new respect for teachers (and the hardships faced here in this country). So a big THANK YOU goes out to those teachers and mentors who helped me with the wealth of knowledge I have do date. And I finally understand why we did so many drills in class! I am witnessing the impact of not doing them.

So This Is How Parents Feel!

2009-01-28T16:50:00.000-08:00

The word for the day is exhaustion. I am beginning to understand what parents mean when they say that they are always tired but love their children and are glad they had them. I truly enjoy the work we are doing here but its level of intensity hit me yesterday when I felt so exhausted that I was nauseous, as did many of my teammates. We debated if this was because of the jet lag (come on, it's been 5 days!), malaria pills (we refuse to read the list of 100 potential side effects), or the hard work. We settled for the latter.

Linda and I were excited about a day without construction. Instead, we went to Assisi, a daycare/orphanage, to join Ginny and Ann. When the car dropped us off, we found 40 kids ages 2 to 5 running over to greet us. OMG! They are so cute. I wanted to take them home with me. As soon as we sat down, they were sitting on us and staring at us with fascination.

One of the teachers did not show up today. This is common in India. Sadly, the State will look at teacher applications and randomly place teachers without considering vicinity of the school to their home. This means that some teachers travel three hours each way. (If they don't take the assigned job, they have to wait one year and reapply so they must take the job.) Since transportation is unreliable, if the teacher misses a connecting bus, she misses school!

Without a teacher, we had to make up a schedule. So we started the day with the ABC song, which is a bit different here. We then sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "The Hokey Pokey." Imagine getting these tiny kids in a circle doing the Hokey Pokey when there barely understand English and are unsure of who the heck these new people are!

The four of us volunteers separated off taking children to learn to write the ABCs. How does someone teach a person who speaks another language the ABCs? You just do! We sang the over and over, I pointed to the board a lot, and helped the kids maneuver their hand so they could correctly write or trace letters. I was as elated as they were when they got something correct. Oddly, when I would ask what the next letter was, they would either stare at me or guess. Instead, we had to re-sing the alphabet song so they could get the next letter...so that's 26 times.

During the afternoon, I went to work with the nuns at St. Joseph's. It is fun to teach conversational English because we get to learn about each others' cultures. Of course, we have to be careful of the topics because they are nuns. I was happy to hear that unlike arranged marriages, being a nun is not an arranged career. Each girl chose this as a career.

This brings me to the background of Indian the dowry. The history behind them is that when a girl gets married, she essentially leaves her family to join her husband's family. To make the transition a bit easier, parents would send her with things from the house. Over time, this evolved into demands by the husband's family. In some cases, a husband's family may be greedy and demand a ridiculous amount of worldly possessions like a house, car, family jewels, etc. It is true that sometimes, the husband's family will kill the wife if the dowry is not good enough. This was devastating to hear.

I am looking forward to my yoga class in an hour. We decided to hire a private instructor who comes here in the morning just before breakfast. I can't remember the name of this type of yoga. It is more about stretching and breathing, which is perfect for what we are doing.

And if you have comments on my blog, feel free to write them. I enjoy hearing from you. Also, some asked if they could forward the link - absolutely! I hope others read this and are inspired to participate in the great work we are doing.

A Lesson in Acceptance and a Small Win

2009-01-27T15:08:00.000-08:00

It is 4:30 am in India and I have woken up several times tonight. I now make an oath to eliminate naps, or at least try to. Our days are fulfilling but also filled. Rest is an important thing. Either way, now that I am up, let's try yesterday's blog again.

Before coming to India, Global Volunteers sent us a packet explaining the mission of the organization, which is to serve. I also call it a lesson in acceptance. What this means is that when we go into a community, we are there to partner with the community and serve them in the way(s) they need, working side by side. What this does not mean is instilling the American way unless it is something the community requests and is able to sustain.

An example is the system by which we took bricks to the roof yesterday and the day before. By the way, I used the local way this time (i.e., tie a turban to my head and then put the bricks on top) - much better. I had more brain space to think yesterday since I was more comfortable, calculating approximately 4800 bricks that needed to be taken to the roof, three at a time! I also thought about establishing an assembly line, pulley system, or using a big truck. Option 2 might work as long as it is simplistic, but options 1 and 3 would not. Why? Because the community would not be able to make this a part of the daily system. As a result, it would actually hurt them more than it would help. Our job is to work with them - but in their way. If we have sustainable suggestions, we may be able to incorporate them, but more effectively so when asked to.

My small win of they day came when we returned to SEAM for our daily session with the orphans just before dinner. Katie and I worked with the boys on computers. Since we have three computers now, three boys are able to come into the room at a time. I worked one on one with John, who I categorized yesterday as someone seemingly not interested in learning as he just wanted to play games. I learned otherwise today.

My teammates suggested that John might be bored so I should try advanced tricks on the computer. Since Word and PowerPoint are similar and I don't anticipate him doing any presentations soon (and he knows Word), I decided to try Excel. I worked with him on creating charts and graphs and simple computing. Since his native tongue is Tamil, we had a few funny interactions. For instance, I would ask him to type "Name" as the column title. John asked, "John?" I said, "No, not your name. The word name." By the end, he was just about able to create his own graph. As it was time to go, he said, "Sister, tomorrow, mathematics!" I almost cried. He wanted to learn more!

Another small win of the day was the interaction we had with the locals at the construction site. Today, we worked together and interacted more. For instance, they showed pictures of their family and had us sit with them in a circle while we all broke bricks with hammers. Of course, my immediate thought was, "Where is the chisel?" (Not the local way!)

In the afternoon, we started teaching nuns conversational English. They brought us 7 Up and some sweet thing. The Mother sat with us chatting about the day. Also, the nuns shared with us why their hair is so beautiful - they wash is once, sometimes twice per week and then put coconut oil in it! (Ah! That's why they have gorgeous hair and no frizz in this humidity!)

I like to end each blog with a few cultural tidbits. Today, we learned that men in Southern India wear a moustache and those in the North do not. Also, the Indian food we eat in the States tends to be that of the Northern variety. Southern Indian food is different - for example, no naan (except in hotels). "No naan?!" we all exclaimed. Then we remembered that if there were naan, we would go home quite heavy as we would eat so much of it. The good news is that we are eating bread that is similar. And there is always chai!

I will talk about the history of the dowry tomorrow.

Day 1 - Getting to Work

2009-01-26T06:44:00.000-08:00

Admittedly, today was a reality check of the hard work ahead of us. Although there are six of us, we each are paired off to different locations. My roommate, Linda (from Boston), and I are at SEAM (Southeast Asia Mission) for the first half of the program helping with construction. No, we are not painting, laying brick, or spackling walls. That job is for the men. Our job (i.e., the woman's job) is to be a tender, which means we carry everything to the men who do the stuff listed above. Our first task is to carry 4 7-foot piles of bricks up to the roof of the new orphanage. Today, we completed 3 of the 4 piles. You may ask, "Why only 3?" That is because we carry them on our heads. Do the math. Yes, the more you pile on your head at once, the quicker it gets done. Or, as I quickly found out, the less you pile on your head, the longer you last to actually get the work done. I started with 4 bricks, then 3, and ended with 2 per trip.

Mind you, the kids were off today and could not wait to help us! Some of these tiny, adorable kids were carrying 4! Get this. The local woman who partnered with us (we always have those in the community helping us as we are there to help them as opposed to them being there to help us as this is what builds a true community) could carry 8 (yes, 8) bricks on her head. She did not even have to hold them! She simply balanced them as she gracefully (odd word, I know) walked up a flight of stairs.

Knowing we have intense labor ahead, I am keeping myself motivated knowing that instead of having 40 orphans sleeping on cement floors in one large room, they are about to have a home with 3 bunk beds per room. Once the dorm is built, our host will work on getting flowers in the yard. The dorm will be complete in early March.

I am impressed with how creative the kids are. Yesterday, we gave them Blow Pops. One boy found a water bottle and used the Blow Pop cap as its cap. He would stomp on the water bottle and the cap would fly across the yard. This entertained him all day.

Just before dinner, we taught small groups of boys how to use the computer. Some wanted to draw, others wanted to explore cutting and pasting shapes while coloring them in creative ways, and then some wanted to spell sentences in English. They would be overjoyed when they figured out how to do something new. Given that there is no lesson plan, the hardest was to figure out who knew what. Our sponsor is going to have us start documenting what we do so they will have a learning continuum.

The role of women vs. men in the Indian society is something to get used to. But there are other very cool traditions. Note that I am on sensory overload so I can only remember the latest story that I am told. I asked our host why women tend to wear gold and silver, where the gold tends to be above the waist and silver below it. From this question, I learned the following. Indian tradition is such that married people do not wear wedding bands, but the women do wear jewelry - and lots of it. Upon marriage, they are given an pendant called a Thali, which is tied around there neck with a string tied in three knots (thus the saying, "tying the knot"). Some women replace the string as it wears while others simply buy a gold chain to hold the Thali. Since it is inappropriate for women to wear low-cut shirts, men cannot look down their necks to see if they are wearing a Thali. Instead, they also wear silver toe rings. Only married women are to wear these, allowing men to look at their feet (instead of down their shirts) to determine whether they are single or married.

Hopefully, I can get to sleep tonight. Either the hard work or malaria pills (or both) are tiring me out so much that I take long naps, but then I am wide awake at night.

India for the first time

2009-01-25T03:39:00.000-08:00

I always enjoy traveling to a new country. It is like being a child all over again, seeing the world in a whole new way, smiling so widely that some may think I actually look strange. This journey, however, is quite special as I am both traveling to a new country, India, and volunteering.

I arrived to Mumbai on Friday night at about 9 PM. Admittedly, I was a bit scared on the plane. It finally hit me that I was going to a country that was so different from anything I had experienced before. Would I like it? Would I hate it? Would I be safe? Would volunteering be all that it was cracked up to be? Given all the warnings from the travel books, it was no wonder I had such mixed feelings.

When I landed, my feelings changed instantly. I quickly found that the Indian people are so kind, patient, and hospitable - something I, as an American, can learn much from. Within the first hour, I had two Indian men explain to me why the domestic airport was different from but the same as the international airport, direct me to the pre-paid taxi section, pay for my cab, and make sure I got to my cab and hotel safely. One even gave me his business card in case I ran into trouble.

Once I arrived to the hotel, I soon realized I booked myself to the wrong hotel, meaning I booked for my final destination city instead of my connecting city...with points...and it was past the timeframe within which I could cancel without a fee. After begging and smiling, the hotel in Mumbai called Chennai, asking them not to charge me and I was able to get a room at the correct hotel. I even got roses and an upgrade. (Why do these things happen when I go to a hotel only to sleep rather than to hang out AND sleep?) When I got upstairs, I decided I could not be crammed in my room overnight without doing "something" in Mumbai. So I hit the hotel bar to write in my journal and found two Americans traveling on business. We chatted until 1:30 AM and they bought me a couple of beers and shared their snacks.

The next morning, I headed off to the airport for my final destination. There were not nearly as many greeters at the domestic airport as there were at the international airport. I later find that entire families gather at airports waiting for their loved ones to return from abroad. There are hundreds of signs being held up so you just pray the person picking you up knows to look for you as well as you knowing who to look for!

And now, I am at the guesthouse of Global Volunteers in Porur, just outside Chennai. There are six female volunteers, mostly from the US and one from Taiwan. Everyone is lovely, including our host, Stephen, his wife and son, the cook, and the watchman.

Today, we had our team meeting to discuss the three weeks. I will be doing construction at an orphanage for half the time and playing with the orphans the other half. Thanks to my friend, Debbie, who donated THREE laptops, these kids are going to have an opportunity to learn computer skills.

Just prior to dinner, we met the orphans. I almost cried. As soon as we opened the gate, the kids were all running to us. Each shook our hand, looked us in the eye, and said anything from "Welcome. How are you?" to "What is your name? My name is...." (Each child greeted each volunteer this way and there were about 40 kids.) And they all wanted their photos taken so they could see what it looked like on the LCD screen. They were unbelievably polite and kind. They all sat down, boys on one side and girls on the other, singing us a song. Then one boy stood up and sang a solo. I looked in amazement at these children who looked at us with so much love and appreciation. I wondered if American children are really like this at this age. These kids sit on a dirt floor, maybe have one outfit, and get a minimal public school education. Yet they are so gentle, sweet, AND energetic!

Some warned me that I will either hate or love India. Sure it is dirty and poverty-striken. Yes, there are cows roaming all over and I can barely breath due to all the exhaust. But by simply walking the streets, smiling and interacting with the locals, I can't help but be elated and grateful for this opportunity.